So I have not written a blog in several weeks – it seems that life with a newborn baby takes a little bit more adjusting than I probably anticipated 🙂 But I just wanted to let you all know we are doing okay.
4 weeks after I had my last chemo, I was scheduled for a PET/CT to check whether the six rounds of poison had actually been sufficient to get rid of the tumor. I was so nervous, and so anxious, and to top it all off I had to stay away from my baby boy for 12 hours after the scan because of the radioactive contrast fluid they give you for the scan. Perfectly harmless amounts of radiation for an adult, but possibly not so much for a tiny baby body.
I had the scan on friday, and then spent the weekend with my husband and baby trying not to think about it. The haematologist was due to call me on tuesday. So imagine my surprise when she rang me monday morning! Clever doctor, she was very quick to deliver the news so I had no time to freak out – my scan was completely clear! The cancer was gone!
I have never been so relieved in my life. I was crying and laughing, immediately called my husband who was also crying and who came home from work with champagne. Called my parents, who were over the moon, and my friends who immediately brought over another bottle of champagne to celebrate. It felt like I was finally able to breathe fully, after months of just barely getting enough air.
Of course, we are not fully done now. The cancer could come back, and the chance of it coming back is highest in the coming 2 years. But the chances of it never coming back are still a lot higher, and I will be checked every 3 months so we are keeping an eye on it. But I am finally getting a little room in my head to process what has happened, and also am finally able to focus more fully on being a new mom, which is tough but wonderful.
It’s going to take some time to be fully okay again, I still have a lot to process, but I think I will get there.